Today I got a package from the coolest mod and most awesome dude in Newgrounds: Steve Guzzi.

I didn't know what it had inside, but it was really heavy!

The Box

Yeah, I had to cover some info that was on the box...

And this is what I got: 2 Books "The Iching" and "Spike and Chain" a book that teaches you some basic movements to use Manrikigusari and Shurikenjutsu. The Manrikigusari is the chain you can see on this pic:

Gifts

Thanks Steve! You're awesome...I'm speechless :)

By the way, there's a REAL story about something that happened between Steve and I related to the Manrikigusari... It was a joke I was playing with other NG members an suddenly Steve got involved... It happened 5 years ago! You can read about it here.

PD: I was an asshole back then and my english was like a hundred times worse XD

Thanks Steve!

<3

Uncle Ozcar's awesome wise words of wisdom # 1: How to buy a condom

so, you want to get laid tonight, but you're afraid not about the fact you're going to have sex (after all, you've dreamt about this all the time) but for the fact that your girl won't make sex with you without protection and you don't have the balls enough to buy a condom...

You're a silly excuse of a man!

There's nothing wrong about buying a condom for these reasons:

- No matter your age, they have to sell you a condom. It's not a porn magazine for Jesus Christ! From WikiAnswers:
Q: How old do you have to be to buy a condom?

A: store clerks don't usually care how old you are -they should be glad you are being responsible. No legal age, but if they know your parents they might tell!! :-}

So, as long as you buy it at a store that is not next to your house, everything will be fine.

- What store clerks want is to sell! All what they want to do is sell, they would even sell you a porn magazine if you had enough money .

These are some of the things the Store Clerk won't do when you buy a condom.

He won't ask for an ID
He won't call the police
He won't make fun of you
He won't laugh at you...After all, YOU'RE A COSTUMER and most of store clerks care about their costumers. You might ending coming back to buy more when you need it.

Now, follow this steps and you won't fail in your journey to buy the precious key to the precious vagina.

1.- First, check where the condoms are. Don't fool around like a fool! Just make visual contact to them...You won't need a lot of time to find them, they might be at the reach of your hand.

2.- Take them. If they're at the reach of your hand, just take them if they're not, ask the store clerk for them. Be straight, don't make fool comments. The store clerk won't make fool comments if you don't behave like a fool.

3.- Pay them. That's right, that's all.

You're out now. Remember to follow the instructions written on the condoms' box....

And that's all... Have fun and remember to wear always a condom when you have sex. Do never have sex without a condom or I'll tell your parents you didn't obey uncle Ozcar and that's what gave you aids and/ or other STD...

Leave a comment. Feel free to ask anything.

You might get a faster answer if you send me a PM with something like "I wrote a comment about your UOAWWW #1 "

I hate when people brags about stupid things on the Internet just to show "how big their e-Penis is"

Well, I have some new for you: Your E-penis is not as big as you think....Because, as matter of fact, every e-penis in this e-world is not as big as its owner thinks...All lays in your imagination...

Now that you know that, could you please stop making pointless topics just to show how big your e-penis is?

i.e...
"What are the specs of your computer"
Hello guys, I just wanted to tell you that I bough a new brand computer and is better than any I've seen before lol lol lol. It has a terabyte of space, Blu-ray reader and burner, 5 Gigas of Ram memory.

Now show me your computers specs
: so I can laugh at them

Seriouslly...Who wants to know how good your computer is? It doesn't matter how good it is as long as you keep making pointless topics like that! What wil you do with your damn computer? Download porn? Download MP3? Browse Newgrounds? so what? I can do the same on mine...

Every person that makes a topic like that, thinks that now that has bought a new computer his e-penis' grown like a mile long...But is not! In fact, I laugh at those that think that topics like that will make them look cooler...

Examples:
Link

Well, it seems me...

I'll start making new sig pics...Do you want one like mine? Post here or send me a PM and I'll make one with your user Name and a short message...

Is that even possible?

I used to be a Cool Geek... I knew everything about everything... and I could kick anybody's ass when I was in junior high and in high school...

You could say I was an odd mix between a Bully and the teacher's pet... I was smart, but none had the balls to tell me something bad...Or I'd kick their ass...

At least not as it used to be...

I guess it's because I don't use Fireworks to make fun things anymore...just to work and to work and to work...

I made this today, what do you think about it?

http://ngozcar.blogspot.com/

Amidst the shadows
In the silence of night
The sum of our fears
Materialize...

No sun to warm the skin,
No smile to soothe the soul,
Just shadows of darkness,
The unconscious self wakened...

The façade of confidence,
Slowly fades into the night.
Loneliness the reality,
The mind lost in self doubt.

It weaves insidiously,
Relentless is its power.
In silence our souls hunger,
Fears shrouded in the night.

Tormented by a self portrait,
Exposing flaws and imperfections...
Alone cloaked in shadows,
Battling against self despair...

Vanity yearns for perfection,
The ego craves validation,
The heart aches for love,
And the soul seeks peace...

Our greatest fear,
Loneliness...
The greatest sadness,
We have all known it.

Bored?

ozcar@newgrounds.com

You might see me online between 0:00 hrs - 2:00 hrs...

Latin day 2008

A veces parece increible que han pasado ya 5 años desde nuestro primer latin day en Newgrounds :) Por el momento pareciera que Latingrounds esta en estado de Coma o muerte cerebral...Pero organizando nuestras agendas podremos volver a levantarlo :)

Happy Latin day a todos!

:D